


Alive, Again

by thnxrose



Category: Gotham - Fandom
Genre: @ Gotham please fix my kids, M/M, Pure fantasy, s5 imagine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 17:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14698842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thnxrose/pseuds/thnxrose
Summary: “Penguin said to fix them”.





	1. Hello Again

**Author's Note:**

> BIG SPOILERS FOR GOTHAM S4 FINALE

Pain. Dull, throbbing, coursing through his abdomen; it was a familiar sensation, and one that woke him up. Heavy eyes forced themselves open to see a bright light, bright ceiling, bright walls. From his limited view of the room, it seemed very oversaturated. And, for some reason, very fuzzy. Clumsily, he reached up to pat his face, checking for his glasses. They weren’t there. He managed to turn his head around and look beside him, greatful to see them sitting on a table within reach. He didn’t think he’d be able to move much further than the bed he was lying on. He could vaguely make out someone else lying on another bed on the other side of the room, but for now he paid them no mind. After a few failed attempts, he caught ahold of his glasses and put them on, confirming his original thoughts on how bright the room was. He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, ignoring the persistent pain from his right side. There were more important things to deal with.

Now that he had a better view, he quickly looked around the room, taking in every detail. First he looked down at himself and saw that he was wearing a blue hospital outfit; a snug jumper and loose trousers. The material of the jumper reminded him a little of the green sweaters he used to constantly wear, and it put a mismatched expression on his face. Silver trolleys filled with various medicines and creams were scattered around the floor, there were shelves pilled high with books on anatomy,psychology,chemistry, advanced surgery, and countless others. There was a little clipboard at the end of his bed, presumably to keep track of how awful he was doing. A few machines and monitors were beeping, but they didn’t seem to be tracking his progress. There were no IV drips, no heart rate monitors, no nothing attached to him. The mess of trailing cables were all connected to the other patient, and now that he had his glasses on there was no mistaking who she was. Lee. 

He forced himself to get up from the bed, whimpering and moaning with each movement. Finally he got to a standing position, and took a break to catch his breath. Jesus, she must have stabbed something vital. 

 _“She’s a Doctor, idiot, she was knew what she was aiming for. She was_ trying _to kill you.”_

He saw himself speak, reflected in the smooth metal mirror of a cabinet. All he could think was, “Not _now”._ Hedidn’t even know which him he was at the moment, but being alone in his own head would surely help him to figure it out. He decided to just ignore his reflection for now and began hobbling over to Lee, curious to see just how much damage he had caused her. After a few near falls, and one actual fall, he eventually made it to her bedside. He held himself up using the bed rails, staring down hard at his feet. He took a deep breath before looking at her, almost afraid of what he would feel, and his other self laughed at this fear, the sound bouncing around his skull. Ughh, could he think nothing in peace! He pursed his lips and quickly looked down at her, lying peacefully asleep. She looked as though she wouldn’t harm a fly. She seemed paler than usual, and although her chest was rising and falling softly, her breathing was quite shallow. Her makeup had been taken off and her hair left unstraightened, so she looked much younger, more innocent, almost. Gotham’s own sleeping beauty. 

He noticed the word “beauty” rang around strangely in his head, as if the description didn’t quite fit. But surely, he had thought of Lee as being beautiful in the past, surely he had considered her attractive? Her intelligence was the main thing that had drawn him in, true, but he must have seen something else in her face, in herself. There had been more right? He heard a chuckle from behind him and knew without turning that it was his reflection again. Trying again to ignore it, he simply didn’t say anything. 

“ _Oh Eddie, you can’t even remember why you were so invested in her! Shame, I’ve figured it out. Never mind though, you’ll catch up eventually. And yes, I did say “_ were _”, so invested in her. Whatever delusions you were under about your relationship, they’re gone now. Why, you didn’t even realise you were using the past tense, did you? It’s all over now, at least pretend to be sad!”_

Ed sighed loudly, but didn’t give any other acknowledgement that he had heard himself. If his reflection had already figured out why he had been obsessed with Lee, then he had too. It just meant he wasn’t ready to admit it to himself yet. But the time would come, he had learned that by now. At this moment, however, he would tend to Lee a little. He at least owed her that, he figured. Using the bed to help him, he shuffled around to where her clipboard was hanging, lifting it slowly up so he could read it. The first thing that he noted was that Strange was clearly behind whatever this place was, his name was literally at the bottom of the paper. The second thing was that, just above that name, it said Lee’s chances of surviving with no complications. They were 17%. He must have hit something a little more vital than she did.

He sighed a little at the potential loss, and shuffled back over to his own bed, picking up his own medical chart in the process. His was a bit more positive, with a nice 89% written in black ink. He smiled a little and slotted it back at the end of his bed. He’d be up and running in no time. In fact, he was quite happy to leave right then and there. He knew there was nothing more he could do for his former friend, even though part of him still wanted to try. Scanning the room again, he saw one of the lockers was marked “Nygma, E”. The combination code was only 4 digits, so it took him just 3 tries to guess it correctly. Strange may be a genius in terms of surgery, but he was, like everyone else, oh so predictable. He opened the locker and took out his belongings, which included everything he had left in the Narrows. His signature green suit combo, a few suits of lesser value, three pairs of shoes, the old bowler hat, a gun, a couple pairs of gloves, and... Oh. They found the puzzle box. 

Ignoring everything else, he took it out slowly, as if afraid he would damage it. He hobbled carefully back over to his bed, eyes fixed on the box. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, and took a deep breath. Then, slowly, nervously, he opened the box, as only he could. It fell apart easily, and his face softened a little when he saw the contents. He had almost forgotten what he had put in there. 

On the top was his certificate of sanity, folded up tight. Next there was a few tie pins, placed neatly along with some silver cuff links. Underneath them was his old name tag for the GCPD. He should have thrown that away ages ago, but clearly he was a little sentimental.

Finally, there were photos, some in black and white, others in colour, torn and faded a little around the edges. He picked them up and started to look through them, immediately sucked back into his old life. There was just one of his family, him and his mother, after his father had thankfully died. They wore true smiles, happy smiles. The photo was a reminder that they’d survived, they’d go on without _him_ in their lives. His mother had been so excited to take that picture, she’d had it framed and put on the mantle piece. It sat there, proud, for an entire 8 months. Till the day she died. Ed blinked away the oncoming tears and hurriedly moved onto the next few photos, knowing he wouldn’t stop until he’d looked through them all. There were two photos of him and Kristin, both from Lee’s dinner party. One of them on their own, with her stretching up to kiss his cheek, and the other with Jim and Lee standing beside them, smiles all around. The pain Kristin’s face brought him was much duller now, like pressing on the spot where a bruise used to be. It didn’t hurt anywhere near as much, but you still didn’t want to touch it. He sighed and put the pictures back before picking up the last few. He paused for a few seconds before looking at them, steeling himself. With shaking hands, he held up the first photo, and allowed himself to smile at it. It was from almost 4 years ago, taken in his old apartment in the city. It showed him and Oswald, smiling at each other as he played the piano. They both looked so much younger, so much brighter, and so much more anchored. It was their untainted beginning. Jim had taken it, aparently to send to Harvey as evidence that the pair were friends. He’d sent it to Ed almost a year later, after he’d “killed” Oswald. The caption was, “What difference a year can make.” Ed quickly stifled this memory and moved onto the next photo, wanting the smile to return to his face. This picture was taken during Oswald’s victory speech; it was the two of them, beaming like fools, hands held high together. He could remember his exact feeling when Oswald had announced that he would be his Chief of Staff. It was a mixture of surprise, joy, gratefulness... and something else he had never been able to place. Even now, the name eluded him. It was hard to figure out exactly how you felt during one of the best moments of your life. He smiled softly at the memory and looked at the final photo. It was him and Oswald again, this time after Oswald had saved him from Butch. They were on the stage at the old Iceberg Lounge, staring at each other almost besottedly, Oswald cupping his face in his hands. He was leaning almost on top of him, terrified that he was going to die. Ed remembered the blinding flash of the cameras seeming insignificant as he stared into Oswald’s eyes, the other man’s smile radiant enough. 

_”Radiant? Seriously, and you said you aren’t in love with him Eddie?”_

Ed put the photo back in the box, and his hands curled into fists, his patience with himself wearing thin.  

“Shut up.”

_”Why? Can you still not handle the truth, even after all these years?”_

”Shut up.”

_“Poor little Eddie, still can’t deal with the fact that he wants to kiss a boy. Or maybe it’s the facts that come after that, how he makes you feel inside, how you want to-“_

”I SAID SHUT UP!”

”Now, now, that’s not a very nice way to great your saviour, Edward.”

 


	2. Forgiveness

Oswald came striding through the door, a smug grin on his face. He was obviously enjoying Ed’s confusion and distress. He walked over to the bed and placed his umbrella under his chin, tilting it up so he’d have to look at him. Brown eyes met green again, and fire didn’t seem like a strong enough word.

”I saved you from death itself, Ed. A thank you would be nice.”

And Ed felt frozen again, wrong-footed by this information.  _Oswald_ had been the one to save him... God, he was never going to hear the end of this. He jerked his chin away from the umbrella and stared down at the floor, breathing heavily.

”Oswald, I- I’m not thanking you for anything... until you tell me what I owe you. You must have saved me so I could do you a favour... and, and you saved Lee as well, who you knew I cared about, so now I owe you two!” 

Oswald looked offended.

”Edward Nygma, for shame! Could I not help you out of the kindness of my heart? Could I not simply want to be a good person? And, as for Lee, she-“

Oswald cut himself off before he could finish, confusion sitting uneasily on his face.

”Wait. You... you said you _cared_ for her, past tense. I thought you two were still-“

”Well you thought wrong!”, Ed exclaimed, standing up and hobbling away from Oswald’s pitying gaze. He faced the wall, breathing heavily and trying to stay calm.

”You get to say I told you so now!”

Oswald sighed and walked towards Ed, reaching out tentatively to place a hand on his shoulder. Ed could see his worried expression reflected in the shiny cabinet in front of him, and he had to surpress the sudden urge to turn around and hug him. Oswald caught himself and pulled back at the last second, and Ed didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

”I’m not going to say that, Ed. Come, sit down, you can talk about it. I-if you want to, of course.”

Another olive branch. Another gesture of forgiveness from Oswald, a man not exactly known for allowing second chances. And in fact, if Ed was counting correctly, he was now on his third. What he had done to deserve it, he’d never know.

“I’d rather not really. I’m sure when you happened upon us it was quite clear what had transpired. It was bound to be our end, haha... I knew she’d never stopped loving Jim Gordon.”

He spat out the last sentence, his general hatred of Jim combined with his lingering feelings for Lee painting his words in quite a bitter light. In the distorted reflection of the cabinet, he could see Oswald trying to find sympathy, even though Ed was quite sure that this was the outcome he had wanted. 

“Right now I’m supposed to be nice and say that I wish that hadn’t happened, right?”, Oswald asked, taking a small step closer.

Ed raised his eyebrows slightly. He was surprised at Oswald voicing his thoughts.

”Ah, yes, to the best of my knowledge that’s what.. a friend would do.”

Oswald’s breathing quickened a little at the term ‘friend’. It was a step forward.

“You’re right. But friends also don’t lie to each other. I think, especially with us, there should only be the truth, don’t you agree?”

This earned a chuckle from Ed.

”Can’t argue with you there, Oswald. Neither of us handles dishonesty very well.”

”Well then, since you agree, I must tell you that I’m not in fact sympathetic, as I thought your relationship with Lee was stupid and immaterial. I could see she was using you and I hated it. I wanted her to leave you, I wanted her gone.”

Ed nodded slowly. God, those words from Oswald’s mouth brought him back. How alike his thoughts about Lee must sound to his past thoughts about Isabella. At least now he was voicing them. 

“Yet you let me stay with her?”, Ed enquired, finally turning back to face him.

Oswald rubbed his neck ruefully and avoided his friend’s gaze.

”Yes, I did. I think I’ve learned my lesson about intervening in your relationships, Ed. That’s the only reason I kept her alive, the only reason I brought her here... to give you the choice.”

Ed felt a small smile appear on his face at Oswald’s admission. To give him the chance to rekindle with Lee, even after finding them drenched in each other’s blood, was uncharacteristic of him. Well... actually, it wasn’t _that_ surprising. He supposed Oswald of all people would know that violence can sometimes be done in the name of love.

”Thank you, Oswald,” he said quietly,

“You always are so kind, even when you have no cause to be... even after another betrayal...”

Ed trailed off, almost scared to bring up the time at the bank. He had chosen Lee over Oswald then, but now he wasn’t at all sure what he would do. 

The corner of Oswald’s mouth twitched up but his eyes grew a little colder thinking of the last time they saw each other.

”You know what they say, Ed, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice.. you only get one more shot.”

Ed rolled his eyes a little.

”You’re not exactly famous for being forgiving Oswald.”

”Everyone has their weakness, Ed. You should be glad that mine is you.”

Ed felt a blush coming to his cheeks at Oswald’s bold admission. He managed to make it sound like both a confession of his feelings and a threat against his life, something only he could do. He took a risky step forward, close enough now that he could see the grey hues in the green of Oswald’s eyes, could hear his quickened breathing. Looking at him, still allowing him a chance at redemption, still at his side after all these years, he realised that the choice was never his to make. Nobody really saw him, except for Oswald. 

“I am glad, Oswald. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything that could make me happier,” he said, allowing his smile to grow wider.

Oswald finally smiled back in return; it lit up his whole face and his eyes shone. Both of them moved at the same time, crashing into one another, having waited for over two years to do this again. It was like they had never been apart really, as they embraced with such intensity. Their arms clasped around each other and pressed their chests together, Oswald resting his head just below Ed’s shoulder, memories of a lifetime ago flooding into his brain. God, he hadn’t realised how unstable he was until he hadn’t his anchor back. Betrayals be damned, he would pay any price to have Ed by his side again. And Ed felt the same, jesus he would pull the plug on Lee right now to stay with Oswald. How had they drifted so far apart, how had he survived without him for so long? The universe had been so cruel to them, and they had been cruel to each other, but it was ok now.

They were ok now.


End file.
